It's a Friday night. Feel that fuzzing sensation in the auditory canal (your ear) like youve been circling the full-thrust engine of an F-111 from twenty feet away for two hours, over and over and over as radar-jamming strobe lights spin, firing multi-coloured disco-ball lights in all directions as if you, thinking you're like The Hoff on wheels, actually needed anything more to disorientate your senses to aid in your next fall down for the fifteenth time in ten minutes as your feet again get a little bit ahead of the rest of your body before crashing into some dude or chicky-babe unlucky enough to be next to you, leaving you with a whole heap of sore elbows and sore knees and a sore arse like a pilot that bailed out without a parachute over a rock quarry, only that noise-making jet engine cutting through your ear-drum like a Ryobi grinder to brass pipe is not a state-of-the-art aerodynamic General Dynamics but a musically dynamic set of gigantic state-of-the-art Bose Speakers breaking sound-barriers without ever leaving the ground and bouncing shirt-shaking bass off your chest so bad you can feel the cardiac dysrhythmia coming on every time you roll past the DJ's box whether it be Tupac singing about his love of California, or Shaggy's Mr Boombastic whatever that is, or The Presidents Of The United States Of America munching country peaches, or The Offspring keeping 'em separated but why would you?
Besides, whoever said there was no value in a little short-term hearing loss? Less hearing means less whinging and nagging you hear from others as you get older which is really an added bonus if you think about it. I mean, losing eyesight would be horrific but your hearing? Sign me up Doc. Who needs hearing when there's the option to just smile and agree with everything right? Would that be so bad? No, of course it wouldn't, unless you're smiling and agreeing with some maniac doctor asking if you'd like him to give you a colonoscopy with the old garden hose with a Sony Camcorder glued to the end.. Anyway, for example, if someone keeps nagging as to why you never empty the bin, why not just say 'ok' which will buy you a bit of time. Besides, a bin left unemptied and thus overflowing with waste for long enough will be devoured by a moose or a herd of wild dogs or something. right? So just finish that Coke, lace up those skates, get a hold on that rail and let the good times roll.
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FYI; The sci-fi space-themed mural at the far end of the skating ring has been up for over 35 years, having gone completely under during the 2011 floods yet came through undamaged.