I had a much more peaceful image on my mind for the blank canvas. I almost gave in to the false sense of serenity, because, it was easier.
But I couldn’t shake away all the shadows. I silenced myself to avoid awaking them but they were alive. So I decided to look at them, piece by piece with all their feathers and breath, I touched them, I am feeling them.
Then there was sound arising from the silence, then music. There were colours beyond the grey. There was light soaking through the shadow. There were tears, and then there was joy. There were burning pain followed by warmth, passion behind wounds. There was no beyond. Here is life. With all its shadows and lights, glory and agony. Vivid and real. When I choose not to be mute again in fear of pain, I stare into the eyes of my own demons, one by one. Then they offered me their power. They said: the choice to live open will hurt. I said: all worth it. By the way, I know I will be living with you guys for a long long time, but I am no longer scared. I am alive.